Formal permission was taken from the institution for data collection. Polygamy is often confused with polyamory and bigamy. But the current qualitative study is an attempt to fill the gaps that are left unexposed by survey-based or quantitative research and particularly to explore the positive consequences of polygamy and coping strategies which the polygamous women used to deal with co-wives relationships other than causes and disadvantages of co-wives. Advantages And Disadvantages Of Polygamy - Bscholarly The findings were consistent may be due to cultural and religious resemblance because Al-Krenawi and his colleagues conducted their study in Arab states. Marriage Counseling vs. She told she was also present during the delivery. Polygamy has become very common in numerous cultures particularly in Islamic society. Policy-makers should be made aware of the implications of polygamous marriages on womens health and well-being. When her husband refused, she said that she convinced and allowed her husband for second marriage. 1. Polygamy is the general, gender-neutral term for any marriage between three or more people.Polygyny is a specific term used to describe a marriage that includes one husband and at least two wives. Can expand your gene pool. The main strength of this study is that it provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research. Polygamy.com. Countries Where Polygamy Is Legal 2023 - worldpopulationreview.com But here I am, married to a man who was married before. I knew society is very cruel and it would be very tough for me to bring up them without father." Therefore, in line with the objectives of this study, qualitative interviews were a superlative choice for inductive approaches aimed at generating concepts and hypotheses that have far more potential for research than any other model. If that doesnt help, she can then approach his elders and explain exactly what it is thats happening and how shed like them to help. What Being In A Polygamous Marriage Is Really Like What's popular and why. Then I learned that marriages arent like cars, independent of the people in them, to be fixed according to an owner's manual. You feel the need to establish more control over the decisions of your partner. And another wife Mrs. Kamal reported," in the beginning when I thought about the second wife I engaged myself in different activities because it always hurts me." Obviously, it doesnt mean your marriage will end, just that it is more likely to than the first. https://www.mckinleyirvin.com/family-law-blog/2012/october/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/, https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-rules-successful-second-marriage/, Living with a Spouse Who Has Aspergers Syndrome: the Cloud of Secrecy. She said, I don't think I was the one that could not have children. Polygamy, Brigham Young and His 55 Wives | HuffPost Religion Lillian had twins Zakhele* and Zanele* (now 39), and thought she and her husband were happy. They were much younger than my mother, just eight years older than me. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. She said "first wife of my husband always get more privilege than me." It is still bound to have some of the same relationship issues that we all face from time to time. Relationships come and go, and thats to be expected. You didnt grow up thinking; I cant wait until I meet a divorced man! The findings of the study indicate that polygamy is a painful and bitter pill for most women to swallow. It's a common misconception that polygamy means one man married to multiple wives. We may also learn that if we dont want to get hurt again, to put up a wall, or other such adjustments. Outcomes of polygamous marriages were a second theme generated by evaluating the relationships of co-wives. disadvantages of being a second wife islam No, it is illegal.Under Section 494 of the Indian Penal Code, if a person marries a second time, without a divorce, while their spouse is alive, the marriage is considered bigamy, which is a punishable offense. Unfortunately, those stereotypes are not accurate. Second theme: outcomes of polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy. 4. Practicing polygamy as a legal permanent resident can lead to deportation, as can a criminal conviction for bigamy. Being Muslim doesn't change the biology of pain, of envy, and of sadnessthese are human emotions that are consequences of the act. A nurse brought me this far she took me into her arms and her home and decided she would be my mother. Lower incentive to cheat in a marriage. Mrs. Ahmad being 2nd wife told that after second marriage "I and my co-wife did not get along; our children also did not get along, and there was constant bickering between us. She stated I prefer not to attend the same social function or activity with my rival (co-wife). Conclusion: Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. 2009; 103(1): 17-29. In Pakistan culture, most polygamous women get relief in religious practices and other activities as one of the senior wives (Mrs. Amir) said "whenever I am depressed, I am used to saying my prayer and get relief because divorce is not an option for me." Azad Chaiwala says he first "came out" as polygamous when he was just 12 . Ja, I like these young ones, Lillian interrupts and they all laugh. But by then, no one can picture you without that first friend. One female Mrs. Abdullah was feeding a new born baby she was 3rd wife of her husband. Why polygamy is good for women. - Slate Magazine Thats irresponsible. Evelyn, who has a four-year-old son, now works as a waitress to help her mother with the legal fees for her divorce. You are a little older now, and you learned some harsh realities. Couples Therapy: Whats the Difference? Journalism strengthens democracy. Method: Exploratory qualitative method was used. I live in a rented flat and pay half the rent. Then there are the kids. An analysis of 11 cases of polygamous women transcribed verbatim showed a cluster of themes as infertility or having only female children, love marriage of husband, family pressure, the relationships among co-wives, and their coping strategies to accept this relationship in their marital life. She was married to Mr. Imam due to family pressure when he had already a wife with 2 children. She should approach him first and address the issue, Maphalala suggests. International Journal of Social Psychiatry. While a second marriage can be successful, its still a relationship composed of two imperfect people. I told her that if it was going to make her unhappy I would forget about the whole idea. Can I marry second wife? That does not negate their significance to you and your partner (s), but the union will not be recognized by the law. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. For Lillian Makhubalo* it was like a blow to the heart. Second marriages also have a much larger cast of characters than any first marriage. She stated, "'in my religion, co-wives expect to get along. There is splitting the assets, each person taking on whatever debt there is, plus paying attorney fees, etc. Second theme: outcomes of polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy. This is by far the most common (and the most frequently legal) form of polygamy. They must be educated through different seminars and programs to cope with the stress and manage other consequences of polygamy. The effects of polygamy on children and adolescents: A systematic review. Love and (Polygamous) Marriage? Shed dropped out of school to help her sick grandmother, Nomqondiso, when Thamsanqa asked her for her hand in marriage. The study is not against polygamy but the need to improve the family structure of polygamous families is a major concern. She told her a tragic story. 2006; 52(1): 5-17. She almost lost her life I couldnt bear the thought of losing her. He kisses the back of Lillians hand as he talks. In the long run, it is usually the second wife who is accepting of polygamy. These reasons are in line to some extent with the current outcomes as infertility and having only female children was also one of the major factors for polygamous marriage. Miss Nadia was the 2nd wife of Mr. Imam. Mrs. Kamran was the 2nd wife, working in a hospital. So second marriages tend to have less of the giddiness and more of the serious daily life attached. It just means that being a second wife comes with a lot of challenges along the way. She said, 2nd wife of my husband also helps me in daily households activities. Polyandry is a specific term used to describe marriages between one wife and at least two husbands. Khattak AK. And reassure her of your love. They found his second wife together a woman who was a regular on one of his taxi routes. Data collection from the participants may have been affected by differences in age, years, and rank in marriage, educational level, and religious faiths. Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? Maybe it was because I didnt have anyone in mind when I approached her I wasnt cheating on my wife, Id never do that.. She said, "1st wife of my husband is working so 2nd wife of my husband and I used to manage the household chores. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. The strength of the study is an attempt to seek the coping strategies of co-wives to deal with such relationships in the Pakistani context. One of the disadvantages of being a second wife is that for some reason, people are far less accepting of a second wife. Conclusion: Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. A typical statistic out there now says that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and. She always imposes a fine of 5,000 Malaysian ringgit (around $1,700) and six strikes of a cane. The majority of Muslims have accepted official polygamy. I defended my mother and my dad just watched everything unfold. After three years of this, Eva decided to file for divorce but her husband, Evelyn says, is still trying to milk her for all her money. They must be educated through different seminars and programs to cope with the stress and manage other consequences of polygamy. In turn, some women don't tell their friends about their husband's other partners because young people in the region are becoming more outspoken on how polygamy is an arrangement that is designed. 'I don't care about anything. Further, they accepted co-wives as fate roles and made compromises rather than separation in most of the wives even they had kids. She said," My husband helped me to survive emotionally and financially". It means if your husband is a citizen or green card holder, he. You get easily insecure and offended as you feel that everything your spouse does revolve around his ex-wife and kids. She does not have an apartment . There are seriously complicated stunts involved-- trapeze artists have less difficulty in learning when to disappear and resurface at exactly the right moments than your average second wife. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology. The first author analyzed the transcripts line by line, which was read repeatedly and thematically analyzed for their contents.