Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. 39. Some call it 'retirement.' Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. "Retirement is wonderful. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. "How did you get your answer?" "Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday." Their names are Bed and Couch. Open up! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Unknown A retired husband is often a wife's full time job. Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. significant financial decision. I dont feel anything until noon. 47. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. Let him come out as I do, and bark. It was mugged. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. 42. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. What is a police officers favorite type of tag? He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. The police had to comb the area. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! 4. quotesgram.com. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Know what you own, and know why you own it. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. 1. Police Retirement. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . 7. 34. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. "Half our life is spent trying to find . Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. 30. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." to date. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." Because it was mugged. Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Retiring State Trooper Thats becuase it was a shooting star. Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. 52. Congratulations. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Before you pray, forgive. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. You're no longer cuffed to a job. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. They suspected it of fowl play. 61. Prepare for the worst. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Pinterest. I'm Retired. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that With Great Honor and Recognition This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Funny retirement sayings and quotes. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. I love you! Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? Why did the police officer smell so bad? My dogs dont even own bikes. to the New York Police Department. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. 24. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! 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It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! So I do it three or four times a day." Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. It is better to live rich than to die rich. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Congratulations! Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. What would you do if I stole a kiss? 45. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Love sharing with your friends and family? We wish you the best retirement possible. God bless the officers I work with. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Retirement Quotes. Department, thank you for all you have "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". 36. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Enjoy.". Before you criticize, wait. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. When Cops Retire. Before cuffing the artist, he looked at the mural and said, Now that is bold.. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. 59. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Act like the inner young person you have always been." 21. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. in all your future endeavors! Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. A word of warning. Hello Pension. It means choice." Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Thats ridiculous. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. as He inspires you every day. . Enjoy your new 7 day weekend I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. as you follow in His way, Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Please dont go now. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. 2. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. 51. Dishes the police. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Charles Lamb. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? 20. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. quotesgram.com. 33. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Best wishes! Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." helpful non helpful. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. Showering is Now Optional. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Take us with you! Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Money is only a tool. "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! of loyal and dedicated service to Patrick Foley. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. 38. Happy Retirement! Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. 8329 matching entries found. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Unknown, Expect the best. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." more on this quote . You've broken the law. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. 12. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. different scenarios on retirement income. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. 11. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. Here are some humorous options. Humorous quotes and messages. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Funny cop retirement quotes. I win! and drove off. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." You've obviously missed it. It is the beginning of the open highway." Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? . 15. 2. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. 37. Happy retirement.". 55.